I got the job

i got the job in broomfield after a final video interview. im moving to boulder colorado in the next month lol.

Another Plane

A lot has changed in such a short amount of time. I’m back on a plane haha. Did not see this coming. I don’t understand how everyone on this plane can just continue doing what they’re doing as the plane speeds down the runway and LIFTS OFF THE EARTH. I always play the same song and try to time it with takeoff but it always is early. 

I’m heading to Denver, CO. I’ll be here for like 4ish days. I’ll be in Denver tonight, Boulder until tuesday, and then back to Denver for the flight home on Wednesday. I’m here for an interview I have with a Unique Gifting Experience business called Cloud 9 Living. 

I did a great phone interview and did a great job selling myself and who i am, because I was able to be fully honest. The only issue was that in my cover letter, I was the opposite of honest. I understand this was dumb, but who knows if I would have gotten the call otherwise. I told them I was moving to Boulder and I already planned on it before I applied. This is untrue. The only way I can afford to move out is if I get the job. I managed to tell them my housing fell through and that I’ll still be in town to look at places and interview in person. 

It pays 40k a year with full benefits. It has 15 full time employees and they are all super colorado-esque. Outdoorsy, open minded, cool, and fit. It got ranked as a top 20 best places to work by Outdoor Magazine twice. I’m certain I’d fit in and do well at the job. Just have to nail the first impressions with the team and I think I got the job.

This means I have to promptly find a place to live in Boulder and move out west to my dream town. It all feels not possible and none of it has hit me yet, except a panic attack I had a few nights ago. I want to live in a 5 bedroom house with cool unique outgoing people in order to force me to continue growing as a person.

Anyway, a few hours have passed and I’m tired. almost dozed off. Right now I wanna go to a private bed and sleep in it and just lay out but I have a bed in a hostel and I’m determined to go with it. Even if I don’t meet lots of people, at least I’ll have committed and went through with something that gives me anxiety.

I have about an hour left until landing. Not sure what I want to talk about. I said last post how lots of things changed already since that flight. Something mentally clicked inside of me where I’ve begun the process of maturity. My deep core beliefs have been catching up to my lifestyle and are genuinely changing. 

I’ve had to make some apologies to some people recently because I realize how I’ve acted in the past could have hurt them. I used to be so blunt and blindly focused on forcing people to realize the (what’s to me) obvious truths. I come to realize that that is such a juvenile way of approaching helping people. I needed to realize that the average person is either aware deep down of the truth of their situation and are actively trying to avoid all thoughts about it, or they just aren’t willing/ready to face any of it. By forcing someone to prematurely face these hard truths, it can force them to regress and lose progress they were making. Sometimes it’s best to just get what you can out of your friendship with them, and just be there for them as they come to realize their issues on their own timeline. 

So that was the first large mental shift to occur in the recent weeks. The second is that I always thought I was hardwired to be a negative person, but it doesn’t match the lifestyle I have been living. So I am starting the transition of going from a negative person to a positive one! It’s exciting and I have a long way to go for sure. There was a 15 year old comedian I saw who’s family moved her to LA as a 12 year old to pursue comedy. Her standup act is cringey and bad. I immediately thought “ugh that’s so lame and shes so bad” but then a sneaking rogue thought snuck in and asked “Well shes living an interesting life and trying her best and who knows, she could give up comedy at age 22 and then be a really cool girl who can causally say she did standup for a decade.” then another thought snuck in “Who cares if she ever turns cool or stops being cringey. I will statistically never meet or interact with her, so what is the point of having any sort of negative reaction to her? What good does that do for me?” and that’s what sparked it all. 

Now I’m on the flight home. Interview went well and I’ll know if i got the job at some point this week. Who knows, I could have the offer or non-offer in my inbox just waiting for me to turn off airplane mode. I really loved Boulder. It all was very surreal and made me confident that I want to live there for a portion of my life. Whether it be January 1st or a year from today. Who knows. I journaled this whole trip which has proven enjoyable.  

Wrote on Plane, Already Feels Outdated and I feel Differently but I insist on posting still.

When I was in band freshman year I was nervous. Lots of skilled people above me who were intimidating. I wasn’t aware of the drill for marching and in general clueless as to how high school band operated. 

Flash forward to senior year where I was top trumpet player and had the job of leading the section in marching and practices. I was on top but not scared or intimidated. I would joke around and just mess around in general due to my comfort being there for 4 years.

This was not a great feeling, as one may think. The novelties of band were worn off and nothing scared me. I understood everything “high school band” and had become comfortable within it.

I feel a similar way right now with life in general. In no way am I saying that I understand and am comfortable with what life can be. But recently, with my maturity and growth a lot of things I once held special in my head, have become normal and understood. 

I did not go through much growth socially while I was in college. This has lead to me discovering all these new things straight out of college at a fast pace. For example, the idea of dating a girl and not wanting/expecting a relationship, was something I never experienced. I perhaps knew it was common, though there is a well defined difference between knowing and experiencing.

I still haven’t demystified certain things such as casual sex, as most of my friends have. The idea of becoming so intimate with someone I do not personally know a great amount, seems so scary and exciting. I am not opposed, though not experiencing this type of sex before, has made it feel so hard to ‘make the moves’ as others may easily do. Perhaps I am subconsciously keeping this experience a mystery in order to keep me feeling like there’s more exciting things in my life I’ve yet to explore. Perhaps it’s just me being scared and not able to do it.

I know I have so much more to experience and learn from. I just have taken a moment to step back and realize that I have been experiencing so much positive growth, though along with that growth, I’ve had a layer of demystification occur in my life. Not every person you meet is going to make a mark in your life, or perhaps a person you enjoy being with, just isn’t worth the negatives.

I think a lot of these social learnings have been hard and interesting because before, I knew all these classic beliefs and sayings, though I knew deep down, that if any girl showed interest in dating me than I would forget all the beliefs and just enjoy the love and attention. I did this with Kate, whom I dated for two and a half years. I guess now that I think about it, it really has allowed for me to actively avoid those rash decision makings. 

It’s funny because during such great social growth and maturation, I’ve been struggling to find a job and structure in my life. I guess that makes sense. I’m just excited to work and move to a place I enjoy and continue growing elsewhere.

I’m flying to Las Vegas right now with Danny Irving. I got to switch to an aisle seat since it was a couple. That’s nice. I’m visiting my friend Ross Bolesta who is spending a semester at Flagstaff. I hope I like the Western culture as much as everyone says I will.

I did an internship after I graduated and that schedule along with my summer of growth, allowed for me to lose 40 pounds. That’s pretty damn good in like 2.5 months. Since it’s ended I have maintained same weight but it sucks because I have no structure in my current life.

I’ve gone on dates, bought clothes that express who I am, and have created a good balance with utilizing social media in a positive way. I’ve been able to release another silly music album as well as make some money with the digital sketch pad I got for cheap. I have discovered so many super good comedy groups and people, which has been so rare for the years previous.

I guess this is an update on life for the blog if anyone still somehow sees this. I guess it could be cool to look back and see how I’ve finally matured and became the person I’ve wanted to be for years. It’s fun being an adult and I’m so excited for the years to come. Endless possibilities. Just gotta pay loans. 

Also I am officially determined and passionate about starting my own Salvage Grocery company out west marketed towards young cheap shoppers who want to promote sustainability while also saving money in the bank. Never felt more certain about something for my future before.